God's timing is so perfect. It's absolutely amazing.
Things are, again, happening in my Civil Air Patrol "career", and in re-reading my post from October 2009, it seems as though this could be a continuation of that post. My fearless Wing "commander" is at it again. Or, should I say, at me again. As of today, I was asked to transfer back to my home squadron, ME035. However, at least this time it was asked nicely and in a very proper way; not by the Wing "commander" and his attitude, but by the person who was chosen to replace me as Wing Director of Cadet Programs (DCP). She and I have been working very, very well together these past few months. Actually, I have liked being in a supportive role much better than in a main role, since this way I answer to her, and she has to deal with the Wing "commander". At the Wing level, Cadet Programs has consisted of her as the "boss", me as "special activities director", and another senior member as the...ummm....well, I'm not quite sure of his exact title, but he was "in charge of the computer programming and stuff". Anyway, the three of us were doing a great job. The Wing "commander" was still doing his best to micro-manage (and he has that skill down pat), but overall the three of us were doing great. However.......it seems he's still not happy with me as I'm not enough like him. I'm fat, not stupid, so I know what's going through his mind without being told. There have been some directives coming down from him about this summer's encampment, Airman Academy/NCO Academy (which I talked about in my October post), and various other cadet activities; I have definitely not been on his side with many/most of his decisions. He doesn't like that. I also believe that I'm too "motherly" and not "military" enough. He doesn't like that. I stand on the side of the cadets and what's in their best interest, even if it doesn't match his side. He doesn't like that. So, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that he's just fine without me on his immediate staff. My poor "boss" (the DCP) had to come to the squadron tonight, and as she and I and the squadron commander (who is also a very good friend of mine) were in a "mini meeting" about other things, the DCP had to ask me if I'd "mind transferring back to ME035". I said "Why?" Actually, I knew as soon as she asked me what was going on and whose idea it really was. If it would have been her idea; if she'd have had an issue with me at any time before this, she would have come right out and talked to me about it. She would have said what the problem was, why we can't work together, or, at the very least, discussed the issue and see if it could be resolved. Or, she would have been direct and said she can't work with me for whatever reason, and I need to step back down to a squadron level. See, that I can respect. But because I don't "share his vision" (re: October post), I'm not military enough, I don't think he's the greatest thing since chocolate was invented, then I'm not good enough to keep on staff. Even though I have more experience in Cadet Programs than either the current DCP and the Wing "commander" combined, well....I'm a nothing according to him.
I'm actually ok with stepping back into the squadron role. I have three jobs there, and this will actually give me more time to spend on those jobs. I am personnel, administration, and Public Affairs Officer. Even with being on Wing staff, I was still fulfilling those roles every week at squadron. What I don't like is that he has such little---or none, actually---respect for me that he can't look beyond his own agenda to make a name for himself and see how valuable I really am. I feel like he thinks I'm useless because I dare disagree with him on something. However, since I don't respect him at all, his opinion of me means nothing to me. I can't even be upset with him because that would mean I cared about what he thought. Nope. Not one teeny, tiny, itty, bitty scrap. He has never attended an Airman Academy (which was held last week) or an Encampment. He has no idea what is involved in planning, executing, and follow-up. He is a pilot and a business man; that is what he knows. I can tell you at least one thing, if not more, about every cadet in this Wing. Either because they have told me, or I can look at them and judge what's happening, or other cadets have filled me in. AND, they'd fill me in because I'm easy to talk to. He can't do that; it's not second nature to him.
Here is where God's timing is coming in......this past week we held the annual Airman Academy. It is weeks and weeks of planning, and months of planning before that. It's held every April during Spring break. Between the Wing "commander" putting his nose into every aspect, and the DCP being very note-oriented, this has been a very strict planning time. I have been stressed for a few months now; I just feel like everything I do is under a microscope, and if it's not exact then I'm going to hear about it. Added to all this is the fact that the squadron has an SUI (sub-unit Inspection) coming up in a week or so, and my squadron commander and I have been going into the squadron at all hours to straighten out filing cabinets, etc. Bottom line---I've been very stressed for a while; a few months. I had mentioned to two people that I was so, so, so close to quitting Wing and coming back as "just" a squadron person. But, I didn't want to be away from all the cadets with something that was my decision. Being "removed" is much better in that the angst of choosing was taken away from me. I've been talking to God a LOT lately asking Him what He wants me to do, but........silence..........Then, here, the choice was taken from me, and I can now concentrate on the jobs I have to do at the squadron level.
I am falling asleep as I'm writing this, so I'm going to bed "for real"....as in, I'm actually in bed, but my laptop is with me, so now I'm going to put the laptop away and get some sleep.
