I have no idea what I even want to write. I just haven't written for a while, and I feel like catching up. I am also very tired, so I could fall asleep at any minute. So, here's an interesting story. I was picked up at Walmart. No, the guy didn't try to buy me, and he didn't get me off the shelf, but he was shopping, thought I was "extremely attractive" (his words, not mine!!) and decided to see if I would go out for coffee with him!!!! I'm standing in the stationary aisle, working, when he comes up and starts talking. I thought he was kidding because he was saying how pretty I was, and I had a nice smile, etc.... Of course, since I'm so mature and dignified, I did the obvious thing--I laughed!! Well, giggled actually. At first I honestly thought he was talking to someone behind me, so I turned around to see who else was in a previously empty aisle...but it was me!!! Then I thought he was kidding (another obvious reaction from me), but he wasn't. He was a very nice man. We talked for quite a while; well, he talked--I just giggled. It was totally cracking me up that someone thought I was that attractive and would ask me out without knowing me!!! That has never happened in my life. I've always known the people I've accepted time with. The even weirder thing is that I gave him my cell number. I never do that, either. He called me the next day, but I wasn't sure how I felt about talking to someone I still didn't know very well. I spoke with a man I work with, to get an idea of how a guy thinks, and if it would be safe since he's a retired cop. He thought that if we met at an open place it would be fine. So, I called "Walmart Guy" (as Alex named him) back and told him I'd meet him for coffee that Wednesday at my Dunkin Donuts by my Walmart.
So, we showed up at the designated time, and while he was still a nice person, it wasn't "clicking" for me. I'd say we parted as friends, but I'm so content in who I am and where I am at this stage of my life that unless it's someone who totally sets my heart pounding and my mind in a whirl, then it's not the relationship I want right now. I have done tons of praying about where God wants me right now, and He's laid it on my heart pretty heavily that He hasn't given me "the one" yet. Maybe His plan is that I will never get remarried; I'm fine with that. If it's His plan that I get married within a year, then He will work all that out for me. Walmartguy didn't get what I was trying to say when I was explaining that. The fact that the idea of me praying about my life and following those prayers didn't make sense to him told me a lot. If this would have led to a second, "real" date, I have a pretty good feeling that he would have expected a LOT more out of the date than just going to the movies or something. Ummm......no.
I would love to have a relationship where one of the "dates" would be going to church. That may not make sense to a lot of people, but to me it's just logical. My faith is who I am. I am not the "religion"; I am my Faith. My faith and belief in Christ as my Savior is all that matters to me. If someone can't understand that, then they are not for me. Sometimes it's really, really hard to live those words, because I have been attracted to some guys who were not Christians, but I know down the road that just leads to separation again.
I know what I am looking for in a guy. A sense of humor is an absolute must. Without a doubt, one hundred percent. Looks are not at the top of my list. A guy can be "plain", but with a sense of humor, all I see is the laughter. He doesn't have to be built like a movie star--6-pack abs are unrealistic and I think most of the time narcissistic. Accept me for who I am. Know that I am a package deal with my kids and that I take care of my mother. So, a sense of family is ultra important. Accept that I am an extremely independent person, especially after being on my own for the past 17 years and raising my two wonderful kids on my own...yup, I'm a hard one to tame. Get over it and be my partner, not my master. He has to know that I love someone from the depths of my soul...it's not fake. If I love you, then I am yours forever. I'd NEVER cheat on the person I love. However, if the guy cheats on me....we're through. Never, ever lay a hand on me in anger....once and I'm gone. I've been through that; not doing it again. I want him to be there with me through the good times and the bad, as I'd be there with him. I want to have a lot of the same interests, but doing things on my own is good, too. As I'd expect him to have his own interests. I want us to complement (as in complete) each other; to miss each other when we are doing our own "projects", but I don't want to be joined at the hip so we would end up somothering each other. A healthy balance. Of course, it goes without saying that he would need to be a Christian. I figured that was a "given", so I didn't include it before. Kind of an unwritten, natural expectation; along the lines of....well......breathing!!!!!
Ah, well, maybe one of these days. Until then, I have tons more living to do--with or without a man. Hopefully with the right one soon enough. If not, that's fine too!!!!!!!
So, I'm starting to fall asleep now. I've been up since about 6AM Saturday morning to be work at 8. ugh. Then I had an 8 hour shift of being on my feet those 8 hours straight. I've had no naps when I got home, and it's now past midnight. I'm soooooo tired. G'night.......
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